If ever there was a crime against over-indulging in sweet creamy chocolate, then I am guilty as charged.
Fighting a life-long weight-problem and trying to lose the gadzillion pounds I put on during pregnancy, I embarked on another seemingly 'healthy lifestyle' slim-down plan.
Even as I start the slimming plan, I realised (not for the first time) that chocolates and dieting do not go together. In fact, it is pure hell trying to keep my hands (and mind and mouth) away from the sinful yet so wonderful sensation of sweet melting chocolate sliding down my throat, giving me a rush of euphoria and a desire for more.
I am sure all chocoholics out there agree with me that no trip to the store is complete without a trip down heaven lane (by that, I mean the aisle choked full with chocolates and candies of all types ready to be picked).
So imagine my chagrin when I discovered I had to cut out chocolate from my daily diet to successfully lose the unwanted fat and bulges spilling out at unwanted spots of my body.
What? No chocolate???!! **gasp** It already sounded like pure hell and I have not even started the diet yet!
Now, the exercise routine I can take. After all, we have all heard of 'no sweat, no gain' (in this case, 'no sweat no lose').
So the progress of the diet goes as follows:
Week One :
Wake up at the crack of dawn to squeeze in the compulsory 30 to 50 minutes of exercise consisting of cardiovascular and strength-training exercises. believe me, it was hard enough getting my eyes to open at 6am in the morning, much less go for a brisk walk, climb the stairs, do squats and lunges, sit-ups and push-ups and whatnots to get the muscles going. Somehow I managed to survive this week minus the chocolates! Hooray, I am on the way to obtaining the perfect figure (or so I thought).
Still waking up at the crack of dawn, but not everyday. Hey, the aching wobbly muscles needs to rest to do its work of burning the gadzillion calories stored in my hips and waist. My stash of dark and milk chocolates in the fridge are calling out to me every night.
'What, don't you miss us? You have forgotten us! How could you forget us like this? " they wailed every time I open the fridge to get the soya milk I have been drinking in substitute of milk.
Turning a blind eye (and deaf ear to the pleadings of those insistent buggers), I resolutely shut the fridge door and thought of the perfect figure with a wasp-like waist, slim hips and long sexy toned legs.
I have lost a total of five pounds and several inches overall. Time to celebrate! I am sure a bite of the poor neglected bar of dark chocolate with fine nuts won't hurt a bit. Besides, I am still sticking to my exercise regime quite religiously, not daily but still, it's more than three times a week.
The first bite into the delectable morsel of sweet treat was pure heaven! Before long, I found I had inadvertently swallowed half a bar of the chocolate. No matter, I will work it off in my next workout.
I am supposed to have lost about 20 pounds by now but the scale seemed to have a stuck needle. No matter, I can drown my sorrows in a choc while reading the ebook I recently bought and downloaded which is against the law. No, the choc is perfectly legal but the ebook isn't. It's not stolen if that's what you thought but it's one of those banned reading material in my country, an erotic romance book. My conservative country's censors have archaic moral standing, anything with the word penis is banned, kissing scenes are snipped off from movies, even pictures of breasts in breastfeeding manuals are blacked out..but that's another story. Anyway, I took 'time off' from my slim-down plan and indulged in what I thought was a well-deserved treat of chocolatey heaven. I am sure you know what I mean. Nothing beats biting into that rich delectable bar of chocolate, tasting its sweet chocolatey sensation, licking the melted creamy chocolate off your fingers and letting it all slide blissfully down your throat, blazing a trail of satisfaction and adrenaline pumping euphoria in its wake. Needless to say, there is now a dent in the small hill of chocolate stash in my fridge. They have also stopped bugging me to take notice of them.
Diet? What diet? oh, yeah. I was supposed to exercise and avoid all sinfully fattening food such as dairy and red meats and oily stuff. Well, I can proudly say I kept to my exercise regime which is now relegated to 'as and when I am able to get up in the mornings'. I have also cut out a lot of junk food such as the ones by fast food chains and pizza parlours. Refined carbohydrates? They do not stand a chance! My cupboards are now stocked up with whole wheat and whole meal and whole whatever. Not a single white flour and white whatever.
Whoever said chocolates are a type of carbohydrates? okay, so it is essentially all sugar and calories but recent scientific findings actually said chocolates are good for the heart. So, I must take my daily dose of chocolate. Don't want to die of a heart attack, now, do I? Like I have always said, 'a chocolate a day keeps the doctor away!'
Hooray! I can now fit into my favourite pair of khaki shorts without worrying it would split in two the moment I bend over although I still have to hold my breath and suck my tummy in before I could button it up. I took a look in the mirror, the wobbly bits are still there (albeit, a little less wobbly thanks to the exercise), my thighs are still contenders to defeat those of an elephants', my hips..sigh...are...still there and my legs are nowhere near long and sexy, not even when I stood far away from the mirror and stood on tiptoes. Sigh...there goes the dream of achieving to-die-for legs, tiny waist and slim hips. No worries, my good good friends, imported Swedish chocolates, are there to console me.
So, excuse me, while I make a trip to the kitchen. I can hear them calling to me now...