A tribute to my mom

Not one inclined to pink, frilly stuff or swooning spells, I could say my mom is as tough as a bull terrier. I will always remember my mom's 'butter won't melt in my mouth' demeanor when faced with a difficult situation or her open-minded attitude to everything in life.
My mom had three main passions and those were books, pets and jewellery.
A bookworm through and through, my mom must have a book in hand whenever she goes to the toilet or before bedtime. She was such a voracious reader that she reads almost anything and everything she could get her hands on, from memoirs to thrillers to romance.
It is her influence that has me addicted to books and it is her relentless support in my budding interest in writing during my teenage years that has spurred me on to never give up my dream of becoming a full-time writer.
Then of course there are her pets. Oh my mom is an animal lover through and through who believed in saving as many strays as she could. In all of my life, my mom always had a pet or three staying with her, be it cats or dogs or even white pet rats! Just before she passed away, she had a total of 15 cats and four dogs with her, all rescued from starvation and abandonement. Fortunately, her husband, my stepfather, shared her passion too and loved each and every animal under their care.
I remember visiting them years ago and was treated to this wonderful touching scene of cats and dogs squeezing themselves into bed together with my mom and stepdad at night. It was a picture perfect moment. Priceless actually considering the dogs and cats get along with each other like one big happy family. Even the grouchy, high-pitched, noisy chihuahua which barks and growls at everyone and every moving thing other than my mom does not mind squeezing with other cats and dogs.
Even after all these years, when I think of my mom, it is this very image that comes to mind. She and her loving husband and their menagerie of pets.
It has been two years now since my mom's passing and I still misses her every day. Often I would absentmindedly compose an email to send her and then realised that she is no longer there to make my stepdad print out the email for her because she wouldn't touch the new fangled electronic thing called a computer with a barge pole. Regrets for words unspoken will always be there as I was never given a chance to say goodbye, to see her for the last time, to tell her that I loved her. She never even get to meet her first grandchild as she passed away when I was nine months pregnant.
Barely a year after her passing, my dear sweet stepdad joined her in the afterlife. My stepdad's grief over her passing was so deep that he never recovered from it and I honestly believe that he died of a broken heart.
I would like to think that they are finally reunited now after the brief separation.
So for this Mothers' Day, I would like to tell all daughters and sons out there to at least tell their mothers that they love them before it was too late. I never did get a chance to say these three simple words to my mom before she died and I am certain she is probably keeping an eye on me and my family from wherever she is now.
My mom, she will always be the queen in my heart. It is also in honour of her memory that I am using her name, Nani, as part of my pseudonym in my writing life.

Romance is dead?

I have vowed to myself to not discuss current affairs in my blog but this is just too interesting to ignore! I read that a recent survey by a condom company has revealed that my countrymen are dissatisfied with their sex lives, stating the lack of romance as the main cause.

I couldnt' agree more! I mean, nowadays, romance is 'totally outmoded' and is seen as corny, mushy and a total waste of time.

To prove my point, here's several conversation I had with some of acquiantances at different points of time.

"So, what did you and your husband do for Valentine's?" I asked, not really interested to know but just finding something to talk about on a boring work day.

"What do you mean what did we do? We are no longer dating and naturally, there's no need for flowers and candies which costs a bomb during this time of the year," my acquiantance replied. Let's call her Valen for convenience.

"But you are still in love with each other aren't you?Isn't it all about celebrating your love on Valentine's day?"

Valen gave me a 'what century are you from, grandma?' look.
"Don't be such a hopeless romantic! We have better things to do such as clearing out the garage, watching football on telly and I have yoga sessions to attend," she said.

"You mean, you didn't even spend the day or evening together, do something as a couple?"

"Why? We see each other practically every day and we sleep on the same bed every night. We both need our own personal time too, you know. Besides, Valentine is overated and cheesy and too commercialised," she retorted and immediately changed the subject before I could probe further.

Another even more romantic-less conversation:

"We saw this really darling little house in the suburbs and its just so perfect. We are thinking of buying it and, oh, by the way, we have decided to get married after all," this friend, Gina, announced after talking non-stop about her job, her annoying sister, her even more annoying mother and her current boyfriend turned fiance.

Normally, the rest of us would have immediately asked her the main question 'How did he propose?' but I must have been way out of the field to realise that this question is now 'outdated'.

"So, have you booked the location for your wedding yet?" one the other girls asked.

Gina shrugged and said they are still considering a few places but it all depends on their budget.

Then of course silly outdated me have to open my big mouth.

"So how did he propose?"

Immediately, six pairs of amazed 'which planet are you from, grandma?' looks were aimed at me.

"What? It's not like I asked how many times you two had sex each week...heh heh" I tried some humour.

"Nyla, how cheesy can you get? Propose? That is so last century! Nobody proposes anymore. Those getting on one knee with flowers and ring acts are much too corny. Personally, I'd prefer we sit down as adults and discuss our future together like adults, no need for all those cheesiness. Besides, I'd prefer choosing my own ring, thank you very much." says Gina.

"But it sounds so businesslike. Whatever happened to romance?" I protested.

"Romance is overated and a waste of time dear. What use is romance if he somehow got a ring which I don't like?" she replied and gave me a 'enough of this romance nonsense and come back to reality' glare.

I have had more similar conversations with men and women (all in the above 30 age group) scoffing at the need for romance. A romantic at heart and definitely of that same age group, I am heartbroken by this growing number of 'romance sceptics'. Whatever happened to roses and candies? Candlelight dinners and dancing in the moonlight? Or just spending time with our loved ones, cuddling on the sofa, sipping hot cocoa and holding hands while watching some corny romance movie on telly?

No wonder so many men and women are dissatisfied with their sex lives.